Have a quick look at the video still below. In it, you will see that President Trump’s mouth is open (this is generally true of almost every photo or video in which the man appears) and, to Trump’s right, Vice President Vance assuming a studied, statesman-like pose. On Trump’s left appear the comedy team of Rubio and Hegseth: Li’l Marco assumes his rightful place behind our Supreme Leader while displacing Whiskey Leaks to the perimeter.
Why were these important U.S. officials in front of the camera?
They were there to announce that the United States had bombed Iran’s nuclear sites in the middle of the night, just as war criminal Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu had urged them to do.
Not to worry, though. According to a post from Trump, “A full payload of BOMBS was dropped on the primary site, Fordow. All planes are safely on their way home. Congratulations to our great American Warriors. There is not another military in the World that could have done this. NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE!”
The more important BOMBS in question were GBU-57s, or Massive Ordnance Penetrators, which weigh 30,000 pounds each. They were used to attack Iran’s subterranean Fordo (according to the Times) or Fordow (according to the Guardian) nuclear enrichment facility, and delivered by B-2 stealth bombers. Either 12 or 14 BOMBS were dropped.
Whatever the number, our Commander in Chief assured us that “Fordow is gone.”
This morning, Pete Hegseth, a.k.a. the Pentagon Princess and looking sharp in a tatt-concealing navy suit, held a news briefing of his own to reaffirm Trump’s steam of superlatives. All of Iran’s nuclear enrichment sites were obliterated, he said, and the attacks were “an incredible and overwhelming success.” BTW, the strikes were codenamed Operation Midnight Hammer. Gotta love our military nomenclature.
That Hammer might have missed some nails, though. After Hegseth spoke, top Pentagon officials said that it was too soon to say whether Iran still retains some nuclear ability.
Many commentators believe the American attacks will likely lead to seriously adverse consequences for the world at large, regardless of the BOMBS’ efficacy. Check this out, for example.
Once more, I must ask you not to worry unduly. In the conclusion of his Saturday night address to the nation, Donald Trump had this to say:
“And I want to just thank everybody and in particular, God, I want to just say we love you, God, and we love our great military, protect them. God bless the Middle East. God bless Israel, and God bless America. Thank you very much. Thank you.”
We’ll conclude with the optimistic image below, from Dr. Strangelove: it shows Slim Pickens enthusiastically riding his BOMB to earth, completely confident in the blessings it will bestow. God was no doubt pleased.
